‘Anatomy of Retirement’ – a Friend’s Predicament! Part 2

(Last issue: Prakash picked up a medium sized pakora from his plate, turned it around 360 degrees with his finger, evaluated it for its oil content, wrapped it in a tissue paper and squeezed the pakora a couple of times like a seasoned oil expeller. When he un-wrapped the paper I found almost a lifeless dead pakora which he promptly put in his mouth with a satisfactory nod…)

Part 2:

“You see this plush flat in this upmarket neighborhood and lo! It will be gone! Walks in the prestigious KB Park no longer possible; the chauffeur driven car at beck and call…whoosh…gone! The frequent flight trips, parties in swanky hotels and meeting high profile clients…all will slip into history. My veneered plush corner office, greetings from my secretary and 20 odd staff, lunches in executive lunch room…all will go into folds of memory!” his voice was painfully bitter.

I was in rapt attention at this unfolding of a series of harsh realities by Prakash.

“What about all those airport pick-ups in luxury sedans and accommodation in 5 star hotels? What about the social status and recognition that I used enjoy wherever I went? Nothing remains…” his anguish was understandable.

I wanted to comfort him and said “Look at this philosophically Prakash! You enjoyed all this to the extent it is ‘written’ for you. One day for anybody all this or something like this has to end! But why don’t you see a different world that awaits you which I am sure would be exciting in its own way!”

“You mean the world where I am nobody?; where I don’t have an exciting office to go?; where no one greets me while I adjust my tie in grace?; where I have to drive my car to the weekly shanty and buy vegetables and provisions?; where I have to take the trains while on travel and stay in budget hotels?; where I can’t stop but pass by, 5 star hotels and eat my weekend dinners in the colony restaurants? If so, I am positively certain that such world won’t be exciting for me!”

Prakash slumped back into the sofa and took a deep breath and continued “In fact if I look at my wardrobe of suits and ties, tears well in my eyes with the stark question coming to my mind ‘what will I do with all these? When can I put them to use?’ Things are pretty bad my friend! What will be the motivation for me to get off the bed and even have a shave? I have a suspicion that even with in the family you are not treated as before!” he was completely in despair.

I heard enough and I wanted to leave him with a few words and said “Life is a continuum Prakash; things come and go at each stage. When you were an infant you would have cried the roof off when someone pulled away the milk bottle from you. But you moved on to different things happily as you grew up. Similarly outside your retirement too, trust me; there is a big world with its countless excitements a few of which could be to your liking!”

“So learn to move on my friend! Please don’t cry like a child whose lollipop has melted! From out of emptiness things come into life and off they go into emptiness! Emptiness has a meaning and a purpose! So let not that emptiness unnerve you. You can find it full of things, if only you wish to see it differently!”

“Ponder over these thoughts my friend and I am sure they will help you negotiate a peaceful, happy and an exciting new beginning!”

I thanked them for the pakoras and left, leaving him with those stormy thoughts. I know it will blow over sooner than later.

*****

‘Anatomy of Retirement’ – a Friend’s Predicament!

Last week I went to my friend Prakash’s house on a courtesy call. His house was a posh 3 bedroom official quarters in an upmarket neighborhood in Banjara Hills. The couple warmly welcomed me and his wife treated me to a bowlful of hot crispy ‘kaaju pakoras’ along with aromatic Darjeeling tea. Despite the presence of heart-warming pakoras, I found him to be a bit off-color. 

I was concerned and asked him whether any issue was bugging him. After a pregnant pause, Prakash sighed and with drooping shoulders, slouched into the cushy sofa. His voice seemed to have choked and with a lot of effort he said “The dreaded 31^st is round the corner…and I am having sleepless nights…don’t know what to do!” 

The message was very cryptic and I couldn't think of anything calamitous looming large on the world that could make him so week-kneed! Even the Mayan Calendar doomsday passed off long ago! I don’t think even the Americans are considering any nuke attack on Iraq, nor even Israel on Gaza! Forget about the distant lands; Modiji is also strongly pitching for a friendly sub-continent. Yes. Ebola is there! But is still shores away and it definitely doesn't seem to have a rendezvous with us on the month-end.

“Prakash, I don’t get what you say. I checked out on all possible threats to mankind, but I don’t seem to get at what is getting you down so badly!”

Prakash sank further into the sofa and said with a quivering voice “End of the Days! I have nowhere to go” he almost whispered. 

“Are you talking about the Hollywood movie? What has it got to do with you? For heaven’s sake can you elaborate?” I asked him completely puzzled. 

Prakash pulled himself up a little and said “nothing of that sort! If I say I will be retiring on 31^st does that mean anything to you? It’s weighing me down completely”

“Oh! Now I got it Prakash!  You see everyone in service superannuates one day! It’s the immutable law of any land. But do you think it’s such a catastrophic event in one’s life so that it makes one sink into that sofa so uncomfortably?” I queried in a half-mocking tone.

Prakash pulled himself out of the sofa completely and said “you don’t get it all; because you never retired; but quit of your own free volition. One has to retire to understand its socioeconomic, familial and psychological hangovers!” He was visibly agitated.

This made me a little concerned about Prakash but also made me curious to know about this multi-pronged complexity. I wanted to get to the bottom of this and asked him “Point taken. Could you now explain to me the complex anatomy of this animal called ‘Retirement’?”

Prakash picked up a medium sized pakora from his plate, turned it around 360 degrees with his finger, evaluated it for its oil content, wrapped it in a tissue paper and squeezed the pakora a couple of times like a seasoned oil expeller. When he un-wrapped the paper I found almost a lifeless dead pakora which he promptly put in his mouth with a satisfactory nod. 

(To be continued)

Taking for Granted : Part 2

(In the previous post, UFO and I jumped into the Pensieve to get to the bottom of this thing called ‘taking for granted’. Now read what happened…)

 “Hope I won’t drown in this bucket!” I said quite frightfully. 

“No chance! Just to look at your hulk and calculate mathematically” the UFO remarked in a mean voice.  

“Where are we heading and when are you letting me understand the concept?” I was impatient.

“Shh… just watch around and look at what I show you” ordered the UFO. Suddenly I saw people, houses, roads, traffic, organisations… a whole civic system was in front of me!

“Now see those parents playing with their kids – the little boy just learnt the second table, and they are deciding that he shall be an engineer from one of the IITs when he grows up! The little girl just saved an ant from getting crushed and they are finding the right qualities in her to become a doctor”

“There you see that youngsters skipping classes and watching movies; no worry about exams or admission test; but expect their parents to fund their indiscretions, buy them admissions and support them financially for settling in life”

“Look at that husband taking all the major family decisions; leave alone consulting his wife, but totally forgetting her existence!”

“Here you see a wife blowing up all the money on unwarranted shopping totally unmindful of her husband’s financial position and commitments”. 

 “In the world around you, you can see these happening every minute and in every sphere!”

“People take governments for granted and governments take taxes for granted”

“Politicians take voters for granted and voters take elections for granted”

“The police take people for granted and people take the Law for granted”

 “Directors take movie-goers for granted and actors take financiers for granted”

“Employers take employees for granted and employees take elevations for granted”

“Schools take students for granted and students take curriculum for granted”

“People take heath for granted and hospitals take our wallets for granted”

“We all take Life for granted and Life takes continuity for granted!” the UFO sighed in exasperation.

“Stop …stop… enough of it… just because I asked you to explain the concept…. Please don’t take me for granted! I am fed up of this! Just take me back home” I shouted in frustration.

The UFO smirked and said “you should have had this wisdom before getting on to these tricky topics!”

“Okay! Point conceded. But be kind of enough to take me back through the bucket without of course spilling even a drop of water” I pleaded with the UFO.

“Presto! We are back in your living room!” I looked around and found it to be true and my precious bucket of water was intact and undisturbed.

“So my dear writer, I make a move! But just remember to keep a Chomp in the fridge in case if I ever chose to come back next time!”

“Of course I would!” I assured the UFO. It majestically adjusted the white cloak and whooshed out of the room.

The loud clanking sound of a vessel falling onto the kitchen floor shook me out of my slumber.

“Blistering Bajjis of the oily kind! Off with you devilish rat! It …. It… certainly takes our sleep for granted!” I shouted out in anger.

Oh!  Sorry! Let me stop. I shouldn't be taking the pages or the readers for granted!

*****

‘Taking for Granted’ - My Encounter with an Apparition!

‘Taking for Granted’

The other day a bit late in the night, I was thinking about this vague expression – ‘taking for granted’ and a few unsettling ideas clouded my thought center.  Without my knowledge, I slipped into an uneasy sleep there right on the living room couch. I had a dream and therein a white shrouded Unidentified Floating Object (UFO) came in through the walls. I asked the Object “How did you come in?” I was a little upset too and demanded “Don’t you think you should knock before you came in?”  

The UFO got offended “kaise mathlab? Bhooth hun! Didn't you watch the Cadbury's 5 star Chomp advertisement on TV,  you moron?” it said sarcastically. “I can come anytime anywhere in any manner.Got it?” 

Though slightly hurt at the snide remark, I quickly played back the advertisement mentally and not sounding moron-like, curtly said “if you have come all the way just for chomping on the Chomp; I am sorry I have none. Got it?”

The UFO was still floating around but appeared to have calmed down; “Oh! My dead fate! I take things too much for granted” it said ruefully!  

The sentence hit me like a bolt! “Taking for granted? My God! I have been thinking about it all night but still not getting head or tail of it! Could you put me in perspective?” I asked the UFO quite expectantly. 

The UFO stopped floating and while adjusting its dangling white shroud properly, said philosophically; “though I have a grudge that you didn't offer me a Chomp, since I have nothing better to do, let me enlighten you on what exactly is taking for granted”

“Taking something or someone for granted is to expect someone or something to be always available to serve in some way without thanks or recognition; to value someone or something too lightly. Taking for granted is something that we all tend to practise knowingly or unknowingly in our day to day life. It may not be an exaggeration if I say; it probably is hard coded into our DNA. Homes, relationships, offices, society, civic infrastructure, governments and Nation - nothing can be an exception to this!” the UFO defined the concept with authority".

“Could you expand the concept with a few examples?” I quizzed the UFO with my spirit of inquiry becoming quite quite palpable now. 

The UFO looked around and its head was locked in the general direction of a bucket of water kept in a corner and commanded me to hold its hand. I looked puzzled and meekly said “er... Excuse me…I don’t find any of your hands?” 

“What a bother! Hold on to the dangling end of the shroud, you imbecile!”  Cursing softly, I hurried to hold one end of the shroud. It floated across to the bucket of water. I panicked and cried in a shrill voice; “We don’t get water as and when we please. That’s the only water reserve I kept for taking care of my morning ablutions. If you have a fanciful idea of guzzling the whole bucket down your shroud, you would better float out of the window right now!”

The UFO calmed me down and said it won’t do such a catastrophic thing with anyone in this city. “Do you remember the ‘Pensieve’ which Dumbledore used whenever he wanted to show some flashback?" the UFO asked me with a tinge of doubt. “Yes. Yes. I know it very well. I saw all the 8 movies many times” I replied quite excitedly. 

The UFO smiled victoriously and said, “Okay. Now let’s get into your Pensieve”and jumped along with me into the bucketful of water.

                                                                                             

                                                              (To be continued)

'Snake in the Grass' - Commentary on Social Net-working!

‘Snake in the Grass’

Recently I attended the marriage of a cousin’s son. There I expected to meet quite a few other cousins who I had not met for some time. While some of these are in touch with me via ‘facebook’ through their ‘Likes’ on my occasional posts and exchange of birthday greetings, a few others who are not very savvy ‘social net-workers’ do make an occasional phone call.

I was excited to meet some of them; more importantly the ‘facebook’ friends and chat over many things that had happened over the past few years. Needless to mention, I was a bit ‘high’ due to their highly encouraging 'facebook' comments like “let’s meet up and have great fun buddy!”, “Sparks will fly when we meet I am sure!”, “Kahin jaana math; Rath bhar gappe marenge!” etc.

I took the day train to this coastal town and by evening I reached the place. The excitement of meeting people was palpable. The warm and firm handshakes, affectionate hugs, beaming faces and what not….my imagination was going berserk! I entered the marriage hall with bated breath and my eyes scouting the place for the ‘suspects’ like that of Detective Inspector ‘Jacques Clouseau’ of the ‘Pink Panther’ fame.

Hey! There they are! Two of my regular ‘facebook’ friends and also the authors of those electrifying and highly motivating comments! They are sitting with their families a couple of rows from the stage. I rushed towards them negotiating what looked like rush hour traffic in any Metro. I almost knocked off a plate of panneer tikkas being served by one of the service boys on the way and curtly waved off another boy trying to offer me some fruit juice. 

I reached them panting and almost half shouted “hi buddies! Here I am!” They looked at me, raised their eyebrows and said “hi”. “So you made it! I thought….I thought….. (He was focussing on picking up a piece of panneer with the help of a toothpick and finally managed to put it in his mouth) ...you may not come” said one of them savouring the tangy, spicy panneer. The other asked me “when are you going back?” with his eyes scanning the immediate environment for another round of bites. 

“We like your facebook posts buddy. Please keep writing them. We enjoy them a lot”, they almost said in unison. One of the ladies gave a courteous smile and said softly “Yes; my husband whenever he logs in to the facebook, first he looks for your postings only”. Suddenly there was this rush for greeting the newlywed couple and everyone started lining up for getting on to the stage. My cousins too got up with their families and said “let’s catch up sometime man” and rushed to take up their positions in the line.

Except the lone spark from a short-circuited decorative lamp nearby, I didn’t feel any ‘sparks flying’. On the other hand my built-up excitement suddenly fused out. Is this all about meeting friends and relatives in this era of ‘social networking’?  Sitting in a corner, I was reflecting on this rapidly evolving strange social behavior. Kudos to Mark Zuckerberg and his team for collapsing the huge geographical and time barriers through their enormously powerful ‘networking weapon’ and declaring to all “Honey we shrunk the distance!”

Yes. The physical distances between people who are separated by towns, cities and countries have disappeared. It gave us a platform to communicate freely, express and share joy besides a wide array of information. But my experience indicates that we have lost the ability to communicate and express when we meet face to face. We are now habituated to communicate with one another just seeing the profile picture. But when the picture turns into someone real in flesh and blood, words seem to fail.  We are comfortable to post ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ sitting alone in the confines of our house or office with a laptop in front or an android in hand. We probably feel secure and confident in this blind communication with others. But when we physically meet the same people, it is likely that we are not that comfortable in expressing joy or feelings. Why this strange shift in our social behavior? Any guesses?

What I feel is that (I would love to be proved wrong), we are comfortable communicating through inanimate objects like a phone or a gadget, as these objects do not expect to experience love or warmth from us in this process. They don’t complain about our lack of attention or absence of that glint of affection in the eyes while communicating. But when we meet people, they do expect all these; they read the body language, they evaluate our responses and peel our words bare, and look for honesty in them. Face to face we are probably conscious of our vulnerabilities and would love to seek refuse in dealing with people over the net.

  

May be we are fast losing all those qualities that characterised humankind for millennia, thanks to the advent of this deluge of proxy social networking! Like a ‘snake in the grass’ Phones, tablets and laptops are slowly but steadily replacing human companionship even without us being aware of it!

It is not very far when, within the four walls of a house, a family would communicate with one another through these gadgets and networking sites even for calling or talking to one another for routine household activities!

*****