The Great Indian Hurry!

As the Boeing started slowly taxiing towards the aerobridge for disembarkation, I was still half asleep in my aisle seat due to the lack of sleep caused by the early morning flight. The plane was softly docking into the aerobridge and I could vaguely hear the soft announcement being made by the cabin crew requesting passengers not to get up till the plane comes to a complete halt. Suddenly I was brutally brought into a wakeful state with someone crushing my feet with heavy boots and before I realised I was hit in the face by a heavy laptop bag being hurriedly negotiated across my face by my fellow traveler who was till then enjoying the window seat during the flight.

Yes, he was in a great hurry! In a hurry to rush across to the aisle, open the overhead bins, pull out his bags and be one of the first few to push his way out of the plane. Who could he be? Don’t rack your brains; he is just a typical Indian like you and me! We have seen and done this countless times at various places – be it getting into a plane, train or bus or getting out of it. We are always typically in a great hurry! Hurry for what? Nothing…just nothing!

We Indians are quintessentially characterised by this great ‘Indian Hurry’! Not to be mistaken for the great Indian Curry for which we are equally known. Let’s rewind and look at how we handle this animal called ‘hurry’ on any given day! We hurriedly get ready for office; pick up our paraphernalia in a hurry; get out to the lift and keep pressing the button half a dozen times though the lift may be just a couple of floors above or below loading and unloading people. The moment the lift arrives, the people waiting there crowd the doors and there ensues a classic exposition of the concept ‘hurry’. People try to come out and go in at the same time creating chaos. Even when the lift display throws an alarm of overload, none makes an effort to step out. Because all are in great hurry but we do not mind getting stuck there for a few minutes.

We come out of our parking lots honking our way out almost like that of an ambulance carrying a cardiac patient to the hospital. At the intersection, before even the lights turn green, we keep nudging forward almost to the middle of the road and also spreading ingeniously sideways like an amoeba blocking the left going traffic. In just a nano second after the lights turn green, there will be blaring horns prompting the vehicles in front to lurch forward without wasting a second. At the roundabouts, we all hurriedly move forward with the sole intention of stopping the other car from moving forward creating a logjam. We don’t care even if the gridlock doesn't get cleared for some time. The blame of course is on the others who seem to have no traffic sense! When do you think our schools teach us the meaning of the word ‘yield’ as an important tenet of traffic sense? I am not sure they would ever be able to!

Be at the hotel receptions, railway ticket counters, bus stops or movie halls – just name the place and we have this great Indian hurry playing its part in a puritanical way. We can only huddle at the counters and not stand in queue; can only push and jostle but not stand at a respectable distance; can’t wait for our turn but would like to clandestinely explore our ways of directly chipping in at the counter from nowhere. Yes. We are all in great Indian hurry.

What would the westerners think of this? Well we don’t care! We take pride in our own ways. Here I would like to showcase one of the many incidents that I happened to witness a few years ago when travelling in Europe with a group of Indians from all states. We arrived in at the hotel in Zurich for a night’s stay and the guide told us that the lady at the counter would give us our respective room keys and asked us to form a queue. No sooner the lady started doing the formalities with the first guy, than the whole lot jumped at the counter asking for keys to the rooms. There was pandemonium and the lady walked off the counter and I heard her saying to the Indian guide “I am scared; I can’t handle this crowd; I can only attend one at a time”

Oh don’t bother! What to talk of a silly hotel counter, when we do it all the time in our temples as well. In temples the queue barricades are generally made of steel or stainless steel bars and any outsider would mistakenly believe that the infrastructure is meant for checking the stampede of some unruly domestic animals. Even such a restrictive infrastructure is not good enough to control quite a few enthusiasts who would generally be seen climbing over the barricades, jump lines and rush forward. In front of the sanctum, one can see the typical hurry of the devotees trying to push and nudge each other with the sole objective of getting the blessings of the adorning deity exclusively for themselves. But isn't the God for everyone and His kindness impartial? Forget it! Just let me have him first and all to myself!

The other day in a marriage buffet, I picked up my plate and was serving myself some curry and just then my attention was drawn for a few seconds by a cousin who was behind me. While emptying the serving spoon I turned back and was aghast to see someone who sneaked into the line was holding his plate above mine and the curry landed in his plate instead of mine! Before I could say something he rushed on for a go at the other items.

 I sighed and said to myself perhaps he is in a “great hurry for the curry and after all he is one of us”

I know you are all in a great hurry but please don’t read this in a hurry as it makes understanding of the great Indian Hurry a hurried mess!

See you guys! Now let me hurry for my next piece.