'Snake in the Grass' - Commentary on Social Net-working!

‘Snake in the Grass’

Recently I attended the marriage of a cousin’s son. There I expected to meet quite a few other cousins who I had not met for some time. While some of these are in touch with me via ‘facebook’ through their ‘Likes’ on my occasional posts and exchange of birthday greetings, a few others who are not very savvy ‘social net-workers’ do make an occasional phone call.

I was excited to meet some of them; more importantly the ‘facebook’ friends and chat over many things that had happened over the past few years. Needless to mention, I was a bit ‘high’ due to their highly encouraging 'facebook' comments like “let’s meet up and have great fun buddy!”, “Sparks will fly when we meet I am sure!”, “Kahin jaana math; Rath bhar gappe marenge!” etc.

I took the day train to this coastal town and by evening I reached the place. The excitement of meeting people was palpable. The warm and firm handshakes, affectionate hugs, beaming faces and what not….my imagination was going berserk! I entered the marriage hall with bated breath and my eyes scouting the place for the ‘suspects’ like that of Detective Inspector ‘Jacques Clouseau’ of the ‘Pink Panther’ fame.

Hey! There they are! Two of my regular ‘facebook’ friends and also the authors of those electrifying and highly motivating comments! They are sitting with their families a couple of rows from the stage. I rushed towards them negotiating what looked like rush hour traffic in any Metro. I almost knocked off a plate of panneer tikkas being served by one of the service boys on the way and curtly waved off another boy trying to offer me some fruit juice. 

I reached them panting and almost half shouted “hi buddies! Here I am!” They looked at me, raised their eyebrows and said “hi”. “So you made it! I thought….I thought….. (He was focussing on picking up a piece of panneer with the help of a toothpick and finally managed to put it in his mouth) ...you may not come” said one of them savouring the tangy, spicy panneer. The other asked me “when are you going back?” with his eyes scanning the immediate environment for another round of bites. 

“We like your facebook posts buddy. Please keep writing them. We enjoy them a lot”, they almost said in unison. One of the ladies gave a courteous smile and said softly “Yes; my husband whenever he logs in to the facebook, first he looks for your postings only”. Suddenly there was this rush for greeting the newlywed couple and everyone started lining up for getting on to the stage. My cousins too got up with their families and said “let’s catch up sometime man” and rushed to take up their positions in the line.

Except the lone spark from a short-circuited decorative lamp nearby, I didn’t feel any ‘sparks flying’. On the other hand my built-up excitement suddenly fused out. Is this all about meeting friends and relatives in this era of ‘social networking’?  Sitting in a corner, I was reflecting on this rapidly evolving strange social behavior. Kudos to Mark Zuckerberg and his team for collapsing the huge geographical and time barriers through their enormously powerful ‘networking weapon’ and declaring to all “Honey we shrunk the distance!”

Yes. The physical distances between people who are separated by towns, cities and countries have disappeared. It gave us a platform to communicate freely, express and share joy besides a wide array of information. But my experience indicates that we have lost the ability to communicate and express when we meet face to face. We are now habituated to communicate with one another just seeing the profile picture. But when the picture turns into someone real in flesh and blood, words seem to fail.  We are comfortable to post ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ sitting alone in the confines of our house or office with a laptop in front or an android in hand. We probably feel secure and confident in this blind communication with others. But when we physically meet the same people, it is likely that we are not that comfortable in expressing joy or feelings. Why this strange shift in our social behavior? Any guesses?

What I feel is that (I would love to be proved wrong), we are comfortable communicating through inanimate objects like a phone or a gadget, as these objects do not expect to experience love or warmth from us in this process. They don’t complain about our lack of attention or absence of that glint of affection in the eyes while communicating. But when we meet people, they do expect all these; they read the body language, they evaluate our responses and peel our words bare, and look for honesty in them. Face to face we are probably conscious of our vulnerabilities and would love to seek refuse in dealing with people over the net.

  

May be we are fast losing all those qualities that characterised humankind for millennia, thanks to the advent of this deluge of proxy social networking! Like a ‘snake in the grass’ Phones, tablets and laptops are slowly but steadily replacing human companionship even without us being aware of it!

It is not very far when, within the four walls of a house, a family would communicate with one another through these gadgets and networking sites even for calling or talking to one another for routine household activities!

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