The 'PO-MATO' Riddle

“Breaking News! Reports that are just coming in indicate that a few unidentified persons have raided a wholesale vegetable vendor’s warehouse in the outskirts and have made good their escape with the loot. While talking to our cameraman, the visibly shaken owner of the warehouse has disclosed that after a week of hard negotiations and spending a fortune, he could manage to procure a bag each of potatoes and onions but just a basket of tomatoes.”

“Though he arranged for careful custody of the same, the robbers got hint or scent of it and managed to decamp with the treasure trove. “I am ruined” laments the owner”.

The TV correspondent was continuing in her agitated voice… “We have plenty of reports coming in all across the city that, unidentified bike riding persons have been snatching tomatoes, potatoes and onions from the hands of housewives returning from shopping. The city police spokesperson in a separate interview to our correspondent admitted to the increasing incidents of ‘tomato-snatching’ across the city but was happy to declare a drastic reduction in the ‘chain-snatching’ incidents. Asked as to how he would handle this new but rapidly growing menace, the policeman assured that talks are on with the Center and a solution is expected very soon”.

“How do you get sleep at such odd hours that too while watching TV?  A sharp voice and a gentle nudge – both from my wife, woke me up from the morning slumber. I looked around in confusion; the TV was on and in the breakfast news, reports about train and plane accidents were scrolling across the TV. So the tomato and potato incidents were unreal? Thank God I was dreaming!

“Bhaskar’s family is coming for lunch and we need to organise stuff quickly. Now will you get ready and buy a few urgent things for me?” said my wife in a tone of urgency.

“Oh! Nice. Please list out the stuff while I get ready” I hurried inside.

***

When I entered the colony stores, I noticed a change in the arrangement. The vegetable and fruit shelves which used to be in the front near the door were not to be seen. I asked the attendant what happened to the vegetables and whether they had stopped selling them. “No sir, they have been moved to a special counter at the end of the stores”. 

I moved across the store and found a place cordoned off with ropes and an attendant was standing near the access point. There I found wooden crates arranged like steps. On the top step I found a basket wrapped in golden foil in which I found the fleshy, and fiery red tomatoes. On the second and the third rows I found potatoes and onions respectively, resting snugly in their silver colored baskets. Apples, pears, pomegranates, etc. found their places on the lower rungs.

I fished out the list given by my wife and it showed three items…tomatoes, potatoes and onions. I checked with the attendant prices of all the three. She looked at me tentatively and said “Rs.10, 8 and 5”. I was foxed. Do they sell that cheap here? I was jubilant and I called my wife and whispered to her. “Look; they are selling things dirt cheap here. All those newspaper reports about price spiral are bunkum. You know?  Tomatoes are Rs.10 per Kg, potatoes Rs.8 and onions Rs.5”. My wife did not seem to believe and wanted me to check if there is a catch in that. I dismissed her apprehensions and jubilantly asked the attendant to pack a kilo of each of them. There was sudden silence and everyone around stopped dead in their tracks and were looking at me in utter bewilderment. The attendant recovered quickly and checked with me “Are you sure?” “Hey! What’s wrong with it?” I was upset. The others still seem to believe that there was some major misunderstanding and were waiting with bated breath. “No problem sir; but that would come to Rs.200 or so” the attendant supplemented. “What on earth?” I shouted angrily. “It should work out to just Rs.23 isn't it?”  The attendant smirked and said “Sorry sir; the prices quoted are for a single piece and not per Kg”

The embarrassment hit me like a bolt. My face turned pale. Suddenly there appeared to be a great relief all around and the people released their breath and went about their shopping smiling at this oft witnessed embarrassment near the ‘Po-Mato’ (potato- tomato) counters. I verified the resources in my wallet and in a voice that was not audible even to me, asked the attendant to pack 2, 3 and 4 – I mean pieces each.  She picked up the stuff and kept them in my hand saying they don’t give carry bags for such small orders.

I looked at the 2 tomatoes in my hand and a thin film of moisture enveloped my eyes. Let one of these be for salad; we make four slices; one for Bhaskar and the rest for the other three. What about the other? May be it can go in Dal, Chutney or even Sambar. Oh! Just forget it!

My head was reeling. We know about onions… but have you ever heard of tomatoes bringing tears to your eyes? Don’t believe? It happened with me. May be a million eyes would be shedding tears right now trying to live with this ‘PO-MATO Riddle’. Onions in the past had tumbled governments. What about tomatoes and potatoes? You think these two …..”Oh save my Soul…Mercy!” I cried in panic as one tomato and two potatoes slipped out of my hand, tumbled down the steps of the store, on to the street and in to eternity.